I had a plan on how I wanted to write this blog post but now it just doesn’t feel right.

This morning I got an email that was the exact antithesis of everything I planned. As a rising senior, I was excited to live on campus with my friends and take my last several major courses in person with my professors. I was thinking of ways to stay healthy and safe; I even planned on buying several cute face masks.

However, that email said that rising seniors would be living off campus and that our courses would be online. End of discussion.

I was frustrated: this was not how I planned my final year of college to occur.

So, after getting that email what did I do next?

Oh, I cried. I cried a few times actually.

Now, more than ever, I have been constantly challenged to relinquish my control (on things that I never even controlled in the first place).

In all honestly, it’s difficult for me to let go; I’m a perfectionist (even if I don’t like being called that) and I want to give everything 100%.

After having that good cry (which helped me out!), I took a deep breath. I thought of Psalms 46:10, my favorite part tells us “Be still and know that I am God”.

I wanted to be still so took time to pause. (Shout out to my Mom.)

My pause was going outside and removing myself from social media.

I had the chance, the power to choose my response. So, I chose to be outside with my family, ride bikes with them, have ice cream, and I surround myself with positive, good vibes.

My pause and deep breathe reminded me of the many things that I still can control… This upcoming semester I can choose how I want to spend my time; I can volunteer, work out, get a cool internship, still learn, accomplish this double major and so much more.

I just want to remind us all to take some time to breathe and pause. Right now, there a lot is occurring around us and, unfortunately, much of it we have little control over.

However, we do not have time to dwell on the things we cannot control… That absorbs our energy and breeds sadness,anger, anxiety, madness, and so much more within and around us.

Instead, focus that energy into things we can control: getting up to workout, wearing a face mask, choosing your own outfit, voting, smiling, speaking up and so much more…We do have power!

Now, I will be the first to tell you it can be difficult to acknowledge that things don’t always go as we planned. I’m still struggling a bit with my college’s decision but I’m a way better space.

For me, I find it easier to “Be still and know that I am God” when I’m outside, exercising, or talking; it’s great when I can combine all three.

So, in the midst of all this uncertainty, I challenge you to take some time to be still; figure out what works for you and take your pause and breathe. Being still can range in time but that’s okay.

At the end of the day when we breathe and pause we will see that everything will fall into its place naturally.

I’m still in my pause, I am slowly realizing that my college’s decision might be the best for me in my aspirations in history and civil justice.

Just let go, and let God.